I’ve been beyond overwhelmed. Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays and then planning for the wedding, all while processing the fact that my little girl is getting married. She will be living in Oklahoma, in her new home with her new husband. Her room is almost packed up. She will be home Thursday from her honeymoon, then loading up her car and leaving. That’s a lot for this mom’s heart. I look back over the past two months and I see someone who had demands pulling her in all directions, and honestly, I didn’t handle it very well. I had nothing left to give. I was dry. The Lord would remind me of His promises. He would remind me to “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Rest was the farthest thing from my mind. I had way too much to do. I was weary. I was burdened….and my heart was grieving. (Please don’t misunderstand. We love Chad and are beyond happy for him to be in our family.) I was still grieving that my little girl has grown up and is leaving the nest.
I’ve joined my church as we are reading through the Bible in a year. Normally, I don’t follow reading plans, but I just haven’t been creative enough to make my own study. Today was Genesis 15-17. Oh, how I relate to so many people in the Bible…..but today was truth for my weary soul.
“Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?”
You see, the Lord had just finished telling Abraham how He was going to bless his wife and give him a son. (Gen 17:9-14.). She would be the mother of nations. He just explained his promise (covenant) to Abraham. Then Abraham feel on his face and laughed and said in his heart….
That’s when the Lord slapped me across the face. (Okay, not really….but He should have.) How many times does the Lord remind me of His truth, His promises and I laugh and in my heart question Him. Really, Lord, You’ve come so that I may have abundant life!?! Really, Lord, you want me to rest, to love, to have peace?
Oh, it gets better. “And Abraham said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!”
Here Abraham is telling God to just use Ishmael for his covenant. Okay, Abraham, but God said YOUR WIFE will have a son.
As I sat there praying over the scripture, asking the Lord to reveal the sin and unbelief in my life, He reminded me of all the times I’ve tried to make my own blessings, just like Abraham was doing. How often have I tried to find my own path because I didn’t want to wait? Because deep down I thought my way was better than His. How often have I laughed at his truth and His promises, because I thought I could handle things on my own?
Can you relate? Are you in a relationship simply because you are afraid to be alone? Are you single and think that you will be alone forever so you are compromising your values? Are you settling in life because you are tired of waiting for God to show up? Are you carrying your problems because you haven’t seen a miracle, yet? Have you stopped believing His way is better?
Sweet friend, let me remind you, that He will show up. His promises are true. He can handle your questions, your fears, your grief, your pain, your finances, your spouse and your doubt. Lean into Him. Stand on His truth….and know that you are loved.
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