Today we celebrate 22 years of marriage. I read this quote the other day and it so true, “The days are long but the years are short.” Every year when we celebrate our anniversary, I spend days looking back over the years, praising God for the work He’s done in our life and our marriage. I also look forward and think of things that I want to do different. How can I love my husband better? How can I be a better wife?
Mark and I started our marriage very ill prepared for what was ahead. The first few years were hard…..like divorce hard. Then one day we drew the line in the sand and made a decision to fight for our marriage. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been soooo worth it.
I wanted to share a few things that have made a huge impact on our marriage. Please know that I’m only sharing these things in hopes that it might help you. We have walked a long road and have been through it all, and our desire is that others would share in the beauty of a wonderful marriage.
(Several of you are divorced and I know you fought for your marriage. Please know that this post isn’t to make you feel guilty or to condemn. I haven’t walked in your shoes and I’m not condemning you at all. I know my God makes all things new. Praying for you as you wait for someone who will love you well.)
1. Never, never, never underestimate the power of prayer. I can’t tell you how many times I would wake up in the middle of the night, lay my hands on Mark and pray over him. We weren’t strong believers when we were first married, but I wanted a Godly man to lead our family. I knew I couldn’t change him, but God could, so I would pray. I can’t even begin to tell you how God did a work in Mark. There are still times if he’s stressed or burdened, that I will wake up in the middle of the night and pray for him.
2. Remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. Make the decision now that it will not happen. Don’t even speak the word. We use to throw that word around all the time and one day we decided we would never say it again. If it’s not a thought, Satan can’t tempt you with the idea. (This, of course, isn’t referring to marriages where there is abuse.)
3. Pray together. We pray together at night before we go to bed. Mark is so good about making sure we do this. There is power in numbers!
4. Date each other. Life can be busy, but it is so important to make time for each other (without kids.) I love being a mom, but I learned that the best thing I can do for my kids is to love their daddy well.
5. Play together. I never doubt that Mark wants to be with me. I know he’d rather be with me than anyone else in the world and the same for me. We have hobbies that we do together. (We love to run and workout together.) We laughed a lot when we are together and just have fun!!
6. Take lots of selfies. (Okay…just kidding!) But I still like to make Mark take selfies all the time!! 🙂
7. Change yourself!!! Draw a circle around yourself and change everything inside. Pray about it. Ask God to reveal the areas that you need to work on. It’s human nature to blame others and spend our time, “if only my husband would…..” Well, get your eyes off what they are not doing and focus on what you can do better.
I could keep writing, but it’s time for us to head to the gym so we can start celebrating our anniversary. These are just a few things that are on my mind. There are so many others things that are important. My desire is for you and your spouse to live together as “heirs of grace.”
I would love for you to share what has been life changing in your marriage.
Thank you for continuing to pursue me after 22 years of marriage.
You love me more completely than I ever thought was possible. You are the man of my dreams.
Thank you leading me and loving me well. I love you more every day!
All my love,
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