Several months ago, a friend of mine, who has never met my husband, made a comment that she loves reading my blog. She thought my husband and I were super cute…but then she said, “if that’s how you are in real life.” (I love her and her honestly.) Then not too long ago someone asks if Mark and I were always “this perfect.”
For those who know me in real life, you know I am very transparent and very honest. I’m also very honest on this blog. I write about my failures as a new wife and how broke we were when we were first married. I don’t write about our fights or the times when Mark drives me crazy. I don’t have much time to blog, so I really try to blog things that are edifying or that I want to remember, or that my girls will want to remember. I, also, never want to embarrass my family by the things I write.
Our marriage is like everyone’s marriage. We have our ups and downs. I never want someone to leave my blog feeling inadequate or that they aren’t enough. So just to set the record straight…. our marriage is not perfect. We are two imperfect people, who try to love each other well….and at times fail miserably. When we fail, we ask for forgiveness and keep on trying. Our hearts are to glorify the Lord through our marriage. We know that our daughters are watching and will imitate our marriage and we want it to be a Christ-centered, selfless, and a marriage full of love! This month I thought it would be fun to share several things that have helped us to have a strong marriage over the years. I’ll be reminding myself of these things also, because during the holidays, it seems as if my husband always gets put on the back burner.
One of the things that helped us in our marriage was figuring out each other’s love language.Often times we show love to others by our own love language. Most of the time two spouses don’t speak each other’s primary love language.
Mark’s love language is Acts of Service. For years Mark would show me love by finding ways to “serve” me. I thought he was just being nice and had a servant’s heart. My primary love language is Words of Affirmation, so I would tell Mark how much I love him and say sweet things. To Mark, my words really didn’t mean much. He receives love by acts of service. We would have several talks about love and showing affection to each other, but it really “clicked” when we realized each other’s primary love language. It helped me to find ways to show him love and speak his language through acts of service. Speaking his love language helps to keep my eyes off of myself when I look for ways to love him. I have to think about service and get creative, because that isn’t my normal language. He is doing the same thing for me. I love that the Lord is right in the center, blessing our efforts to love each other.
I would encourage you to read Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You can also take the quiz here. There is also a test for you to figure out your children’s love language. It’s funny in our family of 5, we all speak a different language!
I found this picture of us from last summer. My daughter took this picture without us knowing it. I love it because it is “us.” We are content with just being together. Plus Mark never minds when I make him share his seat with me. (Also, my secondary love language is physical touch, so I really like to sit close.) 🙂
I hope you have a wonderful weekend!